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You’re awake before the sun comes up again, and the house is quiet…for now. As much as you’d love to lie there and catch another hour of sleep, you remember you left laundry in the dryer last night, and your youngest’ blankie is in there. He’ll have a major meltdown if that blankie isn’t waiting for him when he wakes up.
Your partner has already left for work, and it’s three days until Sunday when you can sleep in while they handle the morning rush. You push yourself up out of the bed and race to the laundry room to restart the dryer and de-wrinkle those clothes…and the blankie. If you’re lucky, you remembered to set the timer on the coffee pot.
As mothers, we’ve all lived this situation like Groundhog Day. There never seem to be enough hours in a day when those little people who live with you are depending on you for everything. Whether you’re a stay-at-home Mom or work outside of the home, the tasks to keep up can eventually overwhelm you. As mothers, we are a community of superwomen out here doing the best we can to care for our families but sometimes, we pay a price.
We are not alone. Mothers have been dealing with similar struggles since the dawn of time. However, that understanding isn’t going to help you when you’re curled up in the shower crying while the baby is napping. The old saying that ‘if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of everyone else?’ didn’t just appear out of thin air. It’s true, and sadly for many mothers before you know it, you’re on the brink of burnout.
Getting caught up in motherhood myths happens to most of us, and these supermodel Instagram Moms with their spotless homes, perfect makeup, and adorable children don’t help. The reality down here in the trenches isn’t what we see on the internet or in magazines. The truth is you get tired…a lot. The whining, the tantrums, the crying, and then the cooking, cleaning, laundry, working; did I just share all my triggers?? And I know there’s more, I just can’t think of right now.
Burnout affects every aspect of who you are. It wreaks havoc on your immune system, your diet suffers, your sleep is disrupted and you just don’t feel good about yourself. I know I’m pointing out the obvious, but sometimes, until we see it face to face, we just don’t want to admit that being a Supermom often means we forget who we are and how incredible motherhood truly is.
To beat the burnout, I’m going to share my list of to-dos!
#1 Self-Care:
You can start with something as simple as a nightly self-care routine after the kids are asleep. Just thirty minutes to shower, or maybe even soak in the bath to relax you. Read a chapter of a book while you soak to take your mind off of your day. When you do your weekly shopping, treat yourself to your favorite bath oil or body lotion and while you’re at it, pick up a journal or a notebook to write in before you go to sleep. Jot down only the best parts of the day with your children or any milestones they’ve hit. When we’re caught up in wiping up messes and changing diapers, sometimes we forget to cherish the beautiful moments. Write them down. Journaling has been so huge for me. I think I tell everyone to journal because I think the effects of it are profound and noticeable immediately.
#2 Take yourself off autopilot
Start with a list of things you want to accomplish each day by jotting them down at night. Feeling more in control of your life will empower you. As you move throughout your day, check those things off your list. Don’t go crazy trying to do too many things and add more stress to your life. Pick only two or three things that are important but not so big that they’re unrealistic goals. They could be as simple as organizing the pantry or bagging up old baby clothes for the donation box.
Even after only a few days, your confidence in what you’re truly capable of will expand, and you may even find yourself more organized than ever!
#3 Get Outside
If at all possible, get outdoors. Even during the pandemic, you can take the children for a walk or a drive to the park. Pack a lunch of healthy snacks too. Just an hour a day will do wonders for all of you. Take a few minutes a day to jot down some activities that you can enjoy together away from the house. I’ll admit, during the winter, I am really lousy at this, but even just a few minutes of playing in the snow with Elijah boosts my mood.
#4 Unplug
Say bye-bye to screen-time and mindlessly scrolling on social media. Social media was designed to be addicting. If you feel like you are mindlessly scrolling a little too much, or constantly checking your phone, put your phone away in a drawer for an hour or two, or go for a scenic drive. It’s easy to put on some fun tunes and take your little(s) for an adventure.
# 5 Meditate
This could be included in self-care, but I think it’s important enough to have its own excerpt. I’m someone whose mind gets so busy with all my to-dos and anxieties. It can be really challenging to navigate. I find that a little night time yoga followed by meditation helps calm the rough tide of my mind. To get started with meditating, try taking a seat or laying down. I prefer to lay down on my yoga mat in savasana or corpse pose, which sometimes at the end of the day, thats what I feel like- KIDDING haha, but yes, the exhaustion is real. Next set a time limit. If you’re new to meditating, just start out with a few minutes. Now it’s time to set your intention. I usually say something loving to myself, like ” I am worthy of all the love in the world” or “I am calm and peaceful.” This is important. I believe the words we tell ourselves become our reality, and when were stressed out, coming back to these positive intentions really help reframe the mind. After your intention is set, notice your breath and and your body. Pay attention to all the sensations in your body. If your mind starts to wander, go back to breath work. You can say “one” while breathing in, and “two” while breathing out. Whenever I catch that my mind has wandered, I repeat my intention and then take a deep breath. Lastly, just be kind to yourself.
#6 Find a community
Reach out to your friends to talk about a challenging day or what you have going on. Maybe there is something they can help with. You can find so much support even virtually with Facebook mom groups. You are not alone!
#7 Delegate
Don’t try to do it all. It’s impossible. Delegating responsibilities between you and your partner can help. If there’s still too much, try to outsource with a cleaning company who can come once a week.. or even just once a month. Ask your friends to spend time with your children while you get some quality alone time. It really does take a village!
These are just a few of my favorite tips on how to avoid & beat burnout. The bottom line is falling into a state of overwhelm can happen when we’re so busy worrying about taking care of everything that we may not even see it coming until we hit that wall. I have been there too many times.
Your children won’t remember how many diapers you changed, how many times you cleaned, or how many meals you cooked. They’ll remember your smiles, your hugs, your bedtime stories, bubble baths filled with giggles, and how you rocked them in your arms when they were sick. They’ll remember you making sure they had their blankie when they woke up, even if it has wrinkles in it.
They won’t be little for long, Mom. I encourage you to document these times in as many photographs as possible. Treasured photos of you in all your beautiful motherly glory with your babies because, as mothers, we are never more beautiful than when we are looking at and sharing precious moments with those we love. Someday, your babies will thank you for it because they’ll see the love you have for them that they’ve always felt.
XO,
Dana
